To quote a wonderfully satirical individual, Mr. PJ O'Rourke:

"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."

But, we have to add to this that there is a better way to do things, one that we feel will appeal to the majority of "Americans" out there right now in particular. In the "NEW" democracy of Ukraine, there is/was an automatic place on the ballot for, roughly translated, and our source has exceptional English skills, "Against all candidates".  Semi working with Arlo's words here, "Imagine that, millions of  people voting against all candidates.... then we can call it a movement." It would kill the system as we know know it if the majority of people said, "We have had enough, we are mad as "H" and we aren't going to take it anymore."  (Paraphrased from "Network") All the money in the world can NOT buy an election when people just say, "NO!" That is kinda what the folks in Iceland did a bit ago. Sad to say that Ukraine has decided to remove that option in their next Parliamentary election, October 2012. (Again from our "embedded" reporter in Kiev). Oh well, it was a good idea. :(

In the midst of the half truths, blatant lies, ignorance, illiteracy, intolerance, down right hate speak, pure BS, (Birther Stuff) and all the other wonderful things that define our electoral system like poor math skills at a well known news broadcaster, oh, let us not forget about money, it sorta dawned on us that, like wow, this is just like business, especially the retail business. Cool! So, we are going to take the high road here, as long as it benefits us anyway, and confront our fellow candidates with a campaign that they will just never be able to top. And, we have to add, it is low budget and we have absolutely no campaign staff to accomplish this for us. A real "grass roots" campaign. Hand shaking/door to door stuff with the help of the Internet.

There are over 2 million "candidates" you could vote for besides us. We are going do what all politicians do and try to convince you that voting for us is not such a bad idea but we are going to try to avoid making snide comments about both mega and small competitors (only when it is in our best interest to do so or if we can't get a PAC to do it for us).  Really, we are going to meet Eddie Bean's End and Amazombie.com and the rest of the pack (PAC) head on in a one on one debate. They think we are the underdog. Ha, we will show them just like Herman Cain did, oh, that was Newt, but wait, up comes Ron Paul. Can Newt come from behind? No, Mitt's PAC beat the crap out a him and Mitt won by 8 votes they report (well, not any more but they are still missing ballots from 8 precincts so who knows). Out of the woodwork came Rick Santorum to claim Iowa but Ron Paul was really in "someone's" face after NH. But, wait, Newt pulls off a stunning victory in SC and is galloping to Florida somewhat ahead of the rest and the gloves are really off now! Mitt and his PAC pulled it off, big time, in Florida and Newt is hopping mad and still insists it is a two man race. Poor Rick and Ron. Meanwhile, Mitt gets Donald Bankruptcy Trump as his new friend. Want to bet/trade on it? Buy/Sell "Options". At least we can profit from it all. And we wonder why the USA is in such deep trouble. 

We are, however, not going to pull a "Mitt Romney" and flip flop. Matter of fact, contained in this little piece of political propaganda of ours (the whole of the web site) is our entire platform if you care to digest all the facts and information. It is in writing which, of course, is a big problem as you have to read things. You remember reading right? That thing you were taught in school and, if you are lucky enough to be a student now, that thing you are endlessly tested on.  We do not feel that a solid campaign is based on 30 second "spots" with a bunch of fancy pictures and little, if any, information factual or otherwise. (Drawing your attention to the fine print in the previous link. These are NOT sheepskin slippers. They are cowhide with sheepskin lining. It is time to get "down and dirty" and take "local" politicians to task. We have been "nice" to them for way too many years. This statement is from our PAC and it was not coordinated in any manner. They just stuck it in here.) It took Newt some time to come around to our way of thinking but, yes, he did. In honor of the "good" politician, another example of political false hoods.  Read the fine print. Why learn to read if we base all our decisions on 30 seconds of pictures, a "headline", and sound clips? Might as well get rid of education all together and save ourselves a ton of money. :)

It is time to get down and dirty. (But dirty only when it is our best interest to do so, mind you.) 

We are going to break down our platform into three categories:

Why you might want to vote for us.
Why you might/might not want to vote us (that long lost "middle" or "compromise" yellow brick road).
And, get this, why you probably DO NOT want to vote for us. (Oh can we come up with a lot of political quips on this one!)

We will start with why you might want to "vote" for us. However, if you really want to skip over that, you can  go straight to why you probably DO NOT want to vote for us by "clicking here" . Warning, if you do, you will be a victim of the 30 second mindset and part of the problem.

Why you might want to Vote for us:

We are real "self employed" type folks. Last year we coined the phrase, (we are pretty sure) "trickle sideways economics". We are real middle class with no mansions or bank accounts in the Cayman Islands and we actually produce a tangible product (one you can actually wear or use) in exchange for your hard earned money. We still try to figure out why everyone thinks all we self employed folks are either rich or on the path to riches but, in our case, if you vote for us then you will actually be doing yourself and the economy a favor in the long run. Our expendable "profits" actually help to support other middle class folks or youngsters who just want the same opportunities we had when we started. (To starve in hope of someday being old and, well, just a bit heavier then when we started.) We trickle our money sideways as much as possible. We are not someone masquerading as middle class friendly. Our base economic platform.

Unlike most but certainly not all (we are being nice) of the other candidates, aside from one item that we sell by order, which happens to be gloves, 100% of our product offering over the Internet  is made in Vermont, USA. (We like adding the Vermont part. Lots of class.) We are two people (and a cat). We do it all right here in our little “factory”.  We take your orders and accept your contributions. We communicate with you. We cut and sew the product and we pack and ship your order. "Made in USA" is what we do here and that includes a lot more than simply producing your product(s). Yes, sheepskin/shearling slippers, made in the USA. Real underdogs we are.

Our products are 100% (real) shearling aside from things like thread, crepe soles, ear muff bands, stuffing for toys, laces for booties, etc. which is understood, we think, by most but we have to state it to keep our comments in the indisputable category and avoid being assaulted by the other candidates. We do not use any other leathers, furs, polyester, foam, what-have-you. Even the inserts in our ear muffs (the part that actually contacts your ears) is the real thing. This is the way we have always done campaigning and how we intend to continue. Unlike our fellow candidates we do not sell you "half truths". Factual always, though Factcheck.org does not follow or proof our statements. :)

The majority of the lambskins/sheepskins we use are tanned and finished in the USA. No, not 100%, but the majority. Some years back, as tannery after tannery in the USA closed down and our supply choices became very limited, we had to make a decision. Should we go with partial global supply or just give up? We chose to stick it out. We believe in what we do and do not feel that, under the circumstances, we have compromised our principles. It was not a "flip flop". Yes, some have accused us of doing just that but they are not in "politics" nor would we be any longer if we had not adapted. Unlike all our fellow candidates, we actually do "label" our skin supply to the best of our ability and you can find country of origin/manufacture for the skins themselves by "clicking here". (Our first attack ad. Nice, well most of the time.) Perhaps we should "outsource" the elections like we have our manufacturing base. So much more cost effective. That is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth including the outsource the election thing. Any bets on when we start getting political robo calls from India? Wait, maybe we are already.

We treat our constituents like they are real people. Everything here is done by your  name. You are not just a campaign contributor  based upon a credit card # or a phone #. You are a name, a real person no matter how small a contributor you are. When you call us about a past order we will ask for your invoice # but that is because records are still on paper, not on computer. It is easier for us to find the necessary info by invoice # as we leaf through all the stupid paper. Many of our long term contributors will tell you that, in time, we recognize you when you call/snail mail us or email us and they are not necessarily mega donors, just consistent ones.  Easy to back up as we are sure our constituents are willing to testify to that if we asked them (but it would be a violation of our Privacy Policy to do so). No Male Bovine Feces. :)

We are being "nice" so far, right? Most of the time?

We have a Privacy Policy that everyone can understand and, considering the few seconds it takes to read, we suggest reading it as we take the next step and offer minor suggestions on ways to regain a tiny bit of your privacy as well. Our years as real human beings have taught us many lessons and we share those lessons freely. We do not SPAM you, solicit your votes/contributions via any other method, or otherwise intrude upon your life unless we have to communicate with you concerning a "vote" that is in progress. No opinion polls either. We do not have the time nor the inclination to do so. But, if you send us a nice email we do respond in kind. (In person even, even if it might be a bit short.)  If you are interested in day to day stuff you can become a fan on Facebook or even just peek in as it is public. But, that is your option, not us "Spamming" you. We support "Freedom of Information" but not when it is your (or our) personal information.

We are not "bricks and mortar" nor are we just Internet based politicians. We do a blend of business. We actually do face to face handshake/kiss babies type stuff every year with more people than we do via the Internet. But, and this is important to you as a potential contributor, we have no store front campaign office. Unlike our competitors we are, in purest form, "workers". We physically make what we sell you.  There must be a better term to describe us but that one seems most appropriate. When we are "On the Road" we are campaigning. When we are on the phone, we are campaigning. When we are answering email, we are campaigning. But, there would be no campaigning if we were not cutting and sewing (working). We do not just sell you products made by another firm (from overseas) or, and this is worse, have products made by other firms (overseas), slap our label on them, and charge you up to 1000% over cost to pay for our campaign ads. :) To us this means something. We hope that it does to you, as well. (Did that qualify as an attack ad?) A "Fair and Balanced" statement.

We have been on the campaign trail since 1978 (forever, like most successful politicians). Our “Trademark” was registered initially in 1983. (Would we lie to you? We have a real Registered Trademark. Honest, look us up.) We have been campaigning on the “Web” since 1995. Longevity does count, well, for some folks, anyway. Look at Ronald Regan and Mitt Romney. Heck, we are still here despite having all odds against us (ditto previous statement) and you can do a bit of research on us if you wish, just to make sure we are stating the facts (not just as we know them). We really are legitimate candidates, more so than many of our competitors. (Second or third attack ad but we just had ta.)

We do our best to be "constituent friendly" type people. We offer low donation "political favors" like resoling on our (emphasis "our")  soft soled slippers or ear muff band replacement on our (emphasis "our")  earmuffs if/when the band gives out. (Don't laugh. We have replaced bands on ear muffs that have very little wool left on them but it is what the constituent desires.) We also do single mittens/slippers for potential donors in need or for constituents who have lost half of a pair or that new puppy decided to attack the "sheep". Oh, an expensive play toy. :)  Burp.

Gee, we have too many reasons why you should vote for us. See, told ya we were good at this political stuff but we feel we have backed up our statements fairly well. Guess we have to move on to the bad stuff. Still on high road, more or less, here. Oh, if anyone should refute us please let us know, okay? We believe our facts are in order.

Why you might/might not wish to Vote for us:

We are an equal opportunity political candidate. We would like to have your vote and we are not going to slam one segment of our potential base in order to appease another segment. No, no way. We do not care about your national origin / religious beliefs or lack thereof / your political affiliations /your skin color- ethnic background /where you live / your sexual orientation / etc. It takes everyone to keep US(A) working toward a better future if we would all just learn to work together. If you got the cash, we will be happy to accept your vote. :) (Chicago style politics in reverse. This is a good one. Pay us and you can vote for us. Just kiddin' but you know where that comes from, right? More things some of us learned in public school.) But, we don't much like jerks so, regardless of the above classifications, if you are a jerk we would prefer that you went elsewhere.  We have the ultimate in a "cool" constituent base. We are happy with that, win or lose the election. Envision Rick Perry Ad and insert "jerks" where appropriate.

We keep absolutely no constituent data what so ever on computer. Even email gets deleted rather frequently and we are not trying to hide anything from the press, just protect our donors from unscrupulous campaigns (political espionage from many sources). We believe this is a positive but some would put it in this category as it creates an inconvenience. In our minds, you do not have to worry about data breach which is extremely inconvenient for you. If it ain't there, it can't be stolen. But, we cannot pull up a previous donation from you so you DO have to repeat all the necessary info (and that does include long term contributors). Just sayin'.

We are just plain weird, not normal candidates, out of the box thinkers. Pardon the language but that bothers the "crap" out of some potential voters. "You should be like everyone else." We have heard that many times.  Still they vote for us which is rather curious all things considered. We are seriously "different" from the rest of the candidates. Let's face it, we actually publish our entire platform.

Some people just can't deal with honesty. That is okay, that is how we try to run our campaign. We are not simply going to tell you what WE think you want to hear. We will not try to get you to donate if your potential political favors  will not be what you want and will refer you back to our list of competitors (chuckle) if we feel it is in your best interest. We post honest info about ourselves and our limited offerings of "favors" (portions of which you can click to directly from the product pages), and we provide a reasonably detailed description of our favors as well as political photos on each page. Sure, it takes some reading  (You remember how, we just know it.) but we want you to know exactly whom you might be voting for. However, that honesty thing has made a lot of people angry over the years so this is why we post it under the may/may not category. AAUGH!

We do our best for our constituents and we work  6/7 days a week for 12-14 hours a day when the campaign season is in full swing. We freely admit that your political favors might take some time to get "passed" but underdog candidates with no staff can't just pull a favor off the warehouse shelf. Once again, we are happy to refer you to our list of competitors where you are likely to find someone who can fulfill your needs within your requested time frame. If we say, "No, we can't do it", it is not because we dislike you, it is because we really can't negotiate that deal. We are real people unlike corporations.

When you call us (between 8AM and 7PM Eastern Time) we will answer the phone with a mere "Hello". Again, this makes people very nervous. We have no answering machine nor do we have any kind of "phone system" offering a batch of options so you can merrily push buttons and listen to a variety of canned music or "infomercials". If it rings and we don't answer, we have stepped out for one reason or another. We will be back at some point so try again or email us. However, and we are real blunt about this, if you call outside of the "window" do not expect to be greeted nicely. We even put a clock beside our phone number to help you out. We can't be "up" 24 hours a day. We are human. :)

Why you probably Do Not wish to Vote for us:

We do not and cannot do not do the point and click stuff. That is that 30 second attention span thing that everyone tries to cater to. Point/click/buy (contribute). Sorry but we have legitimate reasons why we do not. It is a well considered "choice". Click on the link as we think we have explained ourselves pretty well and it is not a long read. Honesty, no matter how much it damages our campaign.

If you are in a hurry, best to vote for someone else. We are two people (and a cat), which has been noted earlier. We do life in the slow lane since we really want you to become a constituent and stay a constituent.  We don't do "fast". We wear jeans because we actually do wear jeans almost all the time. All that wool/suede dust really messes up a suit. Slow and steady wins the race. (Back to Regan and Romney.) We do not have a warehouse full of merchandise nor do we send you something that a staffer picks off a shelf and sends out in our name. We do things one piece/one person at at time and every bit of what we do is personal. Matter of fact, (once again, if you have not skipped ahead) we have a nice list of other places you can visit so you do not have to spend all day on Google looking for a product similar to ours. Just "click here" and, like, boom, a whole bunch of other candidates to go visit/contribute to. No shame/public humiliation here.

We do charge shipping and handling charges but we also try to be fair. Our s/h charges start at $6/$7 for domestic and Canadian shipping and the most we charge for s/h to US addresses, no matter the size of your order, is $13/$14 and that actually includes the good people of Canada as well. Other international shipments must be calculated based on the weight/size of the package but we continue to be a "small" international politician and are happy to "normalize relations" whenever we can. Again, we have posted real, honest information pertaining to shipping/handling costs and we urge you to review that. Everything is shipped via "The Post"  but we can FedEx some orders for you if you are willing to pay for it. The cost ain't pretty but, if that is what you want...... Respect, we actually ship to your PO Box.

We do not do "fashion". Basics are what we are about. Being a small candidate in a big "pool" we can't give you a 100 different styles/colors of things nor thousands of products to choose from. We don't do "boots". We try to give you a real nice selection of basic shearling products that we believe will serve you or the individual that you are "gifting" well. We offer a selection of shearling slippers with either straight shearling bottoms or an additional outsole for those of you who wish to cheat and go outside and pick up the mail or walk the dog in your "slippies". We do hats and mittens as well as innersoles that really make a difference and offer what we believe is the best earmuff selection available. We admit that we might be wrong here but, we are proud of our ear muffs and the world wide attention that they receive. They will even help muffle some of the "noise" this election season. We do not "brand" our products for the world to see and, really, who cares if you are seen in something made by us? You know where you bought the item. We know where you bought the item. That is all that really matters. You don't need to wear our campaign button. Humble to a fault.

We have no "sales". No merchandise is made without an order so we are not stuck with a large quantity of an item that does not sell well. We produce all year long and if the demand is slack, we leave the skins sitting in storage so to speak so that we may use them to create the product(s) as called for. Fiscally conservative.

The index below will serve as your initial guide to our offerings. You will find our little mouse over menu (The Site Menu Button) near the top of every main page as well as text links to all pages  at the bottom of each page you visit so you can easily find your way around. The base pages are pretty consistent. There is always a link to our phone #/address/email at the end of every page.  Remember, top mouse over button, bottom text links. Our poor "mouse over" button is so misunderstood. We hate the enormous amount of space taken up by all the "cookie cutter" sites. Mouse over the "Site Menu" button and, like Wow, you get our whole menu but it does not intrude the rest of the time.

So, vote for the best candidate but think about your vote and do not be swayed by the hype or all the campaign ads. Do a little research. That is all we ask.